How Do You Know a Therapist Is the Right Fit?

Choosing someone to hand your most private thoughts, your relationship struggles, or your biggest insecurities to is not a small decision. It can feel daunting, even overwhelming, before you've exchanged a single word. So if you've been putting off reaching out because you're not sure how to tell whether a therapist is actually the right person for you, I want you to know that hesitation is completely reasonable — and there's a way to answer that question before you commit to anything.

Trust is the foundation, not an afterthought. The success of any therapeutic relationship rests on trust and honesty, and that kind of safety takes a little time to build. But it has to start somewhere, and a first conversation is where you find out whether that foundation feels possible with a particular person.

What "right fit" tends to feel like. In my experience, it's less about credentials on paper and more about whether you feel met. Do you feel like you're talking with someone who takes you seriously without judgment? Do you feel safe enough to be honest, even about the parts of yourself or your relationship you'd rather not say out loud? My own approach is relational — I believe we're formed, broken, and healed in and through relationship with others — so my hope is that sitting across from me feels less like a clinical evaluation and more like talking with a trusted friend who happens to have the training to help you go deeper.

Sometimes it really is just a feeling. Beyond anything you can evaluate on paper, pay attention to what your gut tells you after that first conversation. Sometimes it's a genuine sense of ease, or relief — a quiet "this could be my person." Other times, there's a different, quieter signal: a lingering "I don't know" that doesn't quite go away after you hang up. That pang is worth listening to, too. It's often your intuition picking up on something before you've consciously worked out what it is, and it deserves just as much weight as the good feeling would.

Fit is a two-way street. If your gut hasn't given you a clear answer yet after that first conversation, that's completely normal too — some things only become clear with a little more time and a few real sessions together. That's part of why, after our first four or five sessions together (five or six for couples), I like to pause and check in on how things are going. Not because something is wrong, but because it's worth naming directly: are we actually a good fit for one another? It's simply another point where we get to assess that together, rather than something you have to figure out alone after a single conversation. If, for whatever reason, either of us doesn't feel that I'm the right person to support you, I'm glad to provide trusted referrals. That's not a failure — it's just honesty, and it matters more to me that you find the right support than that you stay with me specifically.

Start with a discovery call. I offer a complimentary discovery call to every prospective client, individual or couple, specifically because I don't think you should have to guess. It's a low-stakes conversation where you can ask me anything — about how I work, what a typical session looks like, whether I have experience with what you're navigating — and get a genuine feel for who I am before deciding anything further.

If any of this is resonating, the next step doesn't have to be a big commitment. It can just be a conversation. I'd love to talk.